Showing posts with label Friday's Family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Friday's Family. Show all posts

Friday, November 30, 2012

30 Posts, 30 Days: Adoption...Friday's Family

I am so excited for today's guest post.  Mary and met while living in Suzhou, China.  Although our time as expats only overlapped for six months, I know that we will keep in touch for a lifetime.  I appreciate Mary taking the time to write a post for me and isn't their Christmas card from last year just the cutest?!



Hmmm, I asked Kara if we could be the Friday Family and well now I am not so sure I can do this. I am not a good writer.  Big deep breath, I know why I don’t blog now, here goes.

How did we get here?  Some days I am not sure.  We were going along a happy family one, two then there were three.  Mom and Dad and three boys I mean.  We had a little set of stair steps.  Two were born in the US and the third in China.  We were long term expats, loving our China life and China in general.  We had a groove, we had friends, we had summers in the US, fabulous holidays and life was full.  Then one day God sent me an email.   He had been talking to me, but He decided He had to get my attention.  So there it was.  Our little family responded to attend an adoption seminar.  We went and knew it was for us.  We talked about it with the boys and they were all in agreement.  At that time we had an 8, 10 and 12 year old.  I think none of us really knew what we were agreeing on or saying yes to but in many ways thank goodness we did not know.  We jumped in with all 10 feet and did not look back.  I did not do extensive research or read every blog I could or have the timelines for China adoptions memorized…..we just went on faith and did it.  I did have some amazing friends who did all those other things so I would just ask them.  We knew we wanted a Chinese child.  We had lived there for 10+ years at that time and knew we would have much to offer a child from China.  We loved the culture that she came from and we hoped to share it with her.  We knew also we needed to adopt a special needs child because of our ages and the ages of our children we could not wait for years for a healthy child.  

My message to anyone thinking about it is to just do it.  If you are entertaining the idea you can do it.  I am amazed so many days at the joy and love she has brought our family.  None of us could imagine our family without her.  She completes us.  We thought for a long time about adoption before answering that email and had done nothing because we were too afraid.  I am so glad we finally took that leap.  It was huge and not so huge at the same time.  I think we are pretty average people just trying to live a good life, raise good kids and have some fun along the way.  If we can do this anyone can.  Heck I know a lot of ladies that are way better moms than I am.  In the end the love for and from our daughter is the same as the love for and from our boys.  Some days it is even more special.  Like today the one year anniversary of receiving her in our arms as our daughter in the provincial office in China.  I cannot believe it has only been a year.  It seems like she has been with our family as long as everyone else.  
One thing I have noticed is that families like ours sort of become ambassadors for adoption.  We are not on a crusade for adoption but I think it is pretty cool when people ask about it because they really want to know and learn more.  I am happy to share our experience; it is not the same for all.  I would like to think that my story would encourage someone else to adopt.  I think if people open their hearts they will find that so many of us have the capacity to care for and love a child.  
Mary

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Friday, November 16, 2012

30 Days, 30 Posts: Adoption...Friday's Family



I’m thrilled to be a guest on Kara and Jamie’s blog and share our story about something that we are passionate about and also defines our family to a large extent.  Stan and I were married for six years before we decided to start a family and adoption was our first choice.  Many assume that we struggled with infertility but we never tried to get pregnant and I often felt a bit of guilt when someone would give me that “oh I’m so sorry” look when we would talk about adoption as the way our first child would come to us.   We felt strongly that we didn’t want our child to ever think that they were our plan B or second option.  

We began our paperwork in 2005 and we quickly chose China as the country we would pursue.   Our reason for that choice, as so perfectly stated by my husband when asked early on, was “because that’s where our daughter is.”  We just knew.  In September 2006 after waiting about 14 months, we traveled to China and came home 17 days later with our oldest daughter Xan.  We completed the paperwork process again in 2008 and began what had become a very long wait for our second daughter.  

Our trip to China in 2006 planted a seed in Stan’s heart to pursue job opportunities that would allow our family to move to our daughter’s birth country.  In 2010, the Lord would see fit to bring that dream to reality. We left all we knew and embarked on an amazing adventure.  Our second daughter, Maggie Mei, came to us in 2011 and although the process and her story is very different from Xan’s because of our home being in China during her adoption, the perfectness of it and her for our family are unquestionable.  In a cool little tidbit that I like to call God-gravy….our girls share a birthday.  January 26 is a big celebration at our house and you can imagine how the tears flowed when we got that piece of information.  We were in awe!

So….now that you know a little bit of our story I’d like to use the rest of my time with you to share a couple of thoughts about adoption. 

1.     --Adoption is hard, adoption takes a long time, and adoption is expensive.  But, IT IS WORTH IT.  There will be days when you are literally at your wits end having to complete one more document or answer one more questionnaire.  The bank account is looking pretty bleak and you don’t know where that payment due is going to come from but I encourage you to press on during those days and remember the excitement you felt when you first sat in on that seminar or your heart was pricked as a child to one day adopt.  I promise…it’s SO worth it.

2.     --Not everyone is going to “get it” and that’s ok.  I am very passionate about adoption and love to talk about it and assist others through the process or just help educate others about it.   I get very excited and often very emotional.  It took me a few times of blank stares and nonchalant participation in the conversation before I realized that not everyone shares my excitement (gasp!)  I thought I just needed to tell them one more story or share one more piece of our emotional journey and they would be excited about the idea…..but, not to be.  I wasn’t even trying to convince them to adopt, just to be excited about the idea and families that it creates.  Yeah….well…..some people just don’t get it and I’m ok with that now. 


3.     --Own your decisions.  There are many decisions that you will make along the adoption journey that others will question and some even judge you for.  For example, domestic or international, biological first then adopt, adopt then biological, special needs or healthy, which special needs, girl or boy, older child or a baby…..and the list goes on and on.  I learned very early on to make a decision and own it.  We felt very clearly called to China and to request that our first child be a healthy baby girl.  Others wondered why China, why a girl, why don’t you ask for special needs…..etc.  My own grandmother even asked me why we didn’t just have one “of our own” first.  You have to decide what is right for you and your family and know that whatever you decide others will have questions and form opinions based on their own experiences and expectations.  Be confident in your decision and move on.  And in the same respect, allow others to do the same.


4.     --Birth moms get a bad wrap.  I get teary eyed almost every single time I talk about birth/biological mothers because what I feel is overwhelming sadness for them and immeasurable gratitude towards them all at the same time.  Of course, I can’t speak for all women everywhere but I can speak for the two women that birthed my children.  Their options were plentiful, culturally acceptable and much “easier” than choosing to carry my child full term and deliver her and then at great personal risk (which we in our country will never understand) thoughtfully placed, not carelessly left,  her in a location where she could be found quickly and taken into a safe environment which ultimately facilitated her coming into our family.  They chose the girls well being over their own.  I love these women with a love that is unlike any other I have. Oh what it would mean to one day be able to look at these women and thank them and show them their daughters and what amazing, beautiful, smart, funny, talented, sensitive, sweet people they are and try in some small way to express feelings for these precious women.  I don’t know their stories and I’m sure there are parts of it that are ugly and not what I want to think about…..but I know this:  They chose life and because of it we have two amazing daughters. So next time you hear a negative remark about a birth mother…..take a minute and, if nothing else, be reminded that Stan and Megan Everitt are eternally grateful for two women, two birthmothers, that shared a piece of themselves with us and gave us our children.   


Thank you for allowing me to share a little of our story and my passion for helping others understand and celebrate the miracle of adoption. 

“Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy.  Then it was said among the nations, “The LORD has done great things for them.”  Yes, the LORD has done great things for us and we are filled with joy.”  Psalm 126:2-3




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Saturday, November 10, 2012

30 Days, 30 Posts: Adoption...Friday's Family


For those of you who donʼt know our family weʼre the Humistons. We started as just
Jeremy and Jennifer. Our family now includes our daughter Grace, 6 years, Faith, 5
years, and Titus, 2 1/2 years. We are in the process of adopting our son, David, almost
2, from West Africa. This is a glimpse at our adoption journey and Godʼs hand along the
way. It is taken from a testimony Jeremy and I shared with our church.







Jeremy:
Our journey really began 8 1/2 years ago when we said “I do.” Coming from a broken
home, the thought of being able to provide a loving stable home, a family, really
appealed to me. I was interested in the idea of adoption. I happened to marry a girl
whose favorite movies as a child were “Annie” and “Pipi Longstocking.” She apparently
was interested in the idea as well- I was soon to find out just how interested!

Jennifer
As a newlywed living in the middle of nowhere I had lots of time on my hands. As I
began to get more excited about starting a family my interest in adoption grew. I began
to do internet research and sent away for information packets. That soon led to me
sining Jeremy and I up for an “informational seminar” put on by Bethany Christian
Services, an adoption agency. I was SO excited to go....

Jeremy
I followed my newly pregnant wife into this “seminar” wondering why we were there. Our
family was just beginning and adoption was more like a “someday” at this point. I started
the seminar naive and gullible thinking adoption would be simple. I left overwhelmed
with the length of the process and the cost.

Jennifer
As the saying goes, first comes love then comes marriage...then came 2 baby
carriages, a miscarriage, and a difficult pregnancy that ended in the miraculous birth of
our son Titus. After an emergency c-section I knew even as I held him in the hospital
this was the moment God has been preparing us for. Our next child would join our
family through adoption.

Jeremy
Our “someday” had come. But six years later with two gorgeous daughters and a
healthy son we had our hands full. A recent job change has also cut our income by
nearly 40%. It was time to decide what would become of our “crazy” God-sized adoption
dream. While Jennifer was giving away her maternity clothes I was pondering if we
would be part of the majority of couples who consider adoption or would we cross over
into the mere 2% that make that dream a reality.

Jennifer
Itʼs October of 2012 and we are driving home from celebrating Faithʼs 3rd birthday. I am
exhausted, but Jeremy gets my full attention when he mentions he learned of a woman
with an unexpected pregnancy. She is considering putting the baby up for adoption. Our
minds begin to real with what ifs and my passion for adoption is once again ignited.

Jeremy
We ask our small group to join us in praying about wether or not to approach this
woman. However, we soon learn she has made a decision to keep the baby. Little did
we know half way around the world on November 24th a little boy had been born as we
were praying.

Jennifer
We anxiously begin to wait for Ttiusʼ first birthday to role around. We knew that most
agencies require your youngest child to be one year of age before pursuing an
adoption. More internet research leads to me signing us up for another Bethany
Informational seminar in January of 2011. We came home from the meeting excited and
filled out the pre-application. However, we were stunned when we received an e-mail
stating that we did not meet the minimum income qualifications. We would have to wait
another year before we could apply again. God has clearly said, “wait.”

Jeremy
As the leader and provider of our home this was very difficult news for me to accept. I
was working a job I was overqualified for and fervently seeking other employment.
However God continued to shut the door on other job possibilities.

Jennifer
My determined personality wouldnʼt take no for an answer. If we had to wait than we
could prepare. We began fundraising for our future adoption. We held our first yard sale
and I began baking cupcakes to benefit our adoption. However, the waiting was so
difficult. Due to Jeremyʼs job being commission based we had no idea if we would
qualify at the end of the year. While people urged me to wait patiently reminding me that
our child might not even be born I had an urgency I couldnʼt shake. I began to pray
daily for our future childʼs needs and protection.

Jeremy
God kept us in suspense until the very end of the year. We became the most honest tax
payers ever and using all that money Jennifer had been raising as extra income we just
skated over the qualifying line. We began trying to figure out where in the world we were
supposed to adopt from. At this point, we felt international adoption was the best match
for our family.

Jennifer
My plan was for us to hit the ground running in January. The pilot program in Uganda
we were hoping to pursue had said that our youngest child would need to be two years
old. However, when I e-mailed the agent to get he ball rolling she said that instead we
would need to wait till Titus was 2 1/2...this wouldnʼt be until July! God has said wait
again....

Jeremy
Out of the blue Jenn approached me about an opportunity to travel to West Africa in
April. She had been asked to lead a VBS for missionary children. There were two
women who had been asked to prayerfully consider this opportunity. I became a prayer
warrior for that unnamed woman. However, in the end Jennifer would be the one to go.

Jennifer
While in Africa God leads us to work with a local orphanage. (not the original purpose of
this trip) My mind reels as I visit an orphanage for the very first time. I work closely with
a missionary named Doris. I ask her if God led us to adopt from this place what her
thoughts would be. She tells me about a little boy named David. She takes me to a
room full of cribs where a little boy is sleeping. He awakes and wants his nanny. As I go
to bed that night I am overwhelmed with the possibilities that I might have seen the
orphanage that we would someday adopt from.

Jeremy
Jennifer returns from Africa in love with a place I have never seen or experienced. She
is full of stories. She tells me about a little boy that was found by a stranger at just a
week old and brought to the orphanage. However, at the first court hearing to have him
declared abandoned the stranger shows up and tries to claim him. His family is trying to
lay claim to David for evil reasons. Child sacrifice, selling his organs, financial
gain...unspeakable reasons. This leads him to be hidden in the home of the orphanage
director and his wife for a year. Just before Jennifer traveled to Africa his court case was
won and it was safe for him to return to the orphanage. His story captivates us but we
are told another family from Canada is coming for him. We begin to pray about adopting
from this orphanage in West Africa.

Jennifer
Through a series of crazy God ordained events we are put in contact with another family
attempting to adopt from this same country. A country that is “open” but has no program
or without any agencies who work in this country. Within a few short weeks another
impossible door has been opened and we find an agency who is willing to help us. For
all our waiting God is moving quickly!

Jeremy
As our paperwork process began we continued to hit roadblocks. We had little to no
communication with Africa. And then all of a sudden a woman weʼve been e-mailing for
months with no response begins to return our e-mails. We are given three boys pictures
to pray over. We are shocked to see that one of them is the little boy Jennifer met.
David indeed needs a family. We are that family!

Jennifer
God has been in the details. Every step along the way he has provided. If we face
discouragement he sends an encouraging e-mail from our contacts in Africa, “David
smiled and laughed today when we visited.” We host a yard sale and pray for our big
dream of $3,000. People give us their stuff. God raises $4,200. We have appointments.
People watch our children. More money is needed. People buy cupcakes and write us
big checks. People pray. God opens doors. God is writing a magnificent story for our
son through the people of God and we are simply grateful. But, this is an unchartered
road. The two questions people ask us most are, “When will you bring David home?”
Our best guess is sometimes between April and August...but really only the Lord knows.
The other question weʼre asked is “How much more money needs to be raised?” We
are estimating between $10,000 and $15,000.

Jeremy
This is our story. It is Davidʼs story. And it is a story many of Godʼs people are a part of.
But God is the one weaving our stories together. Maybe our story has made you think,
“If the Humistons can do this maybe we could do it.” Great- God needs more families to
open their hearts to an orphan. Maybe our story has made you think, “I could be a part
of that.” Great- we need all the help we can get. But no matter what I hope its made you
think, “God will go to great lengths to love an orphan.” Because his words tells us of his
love for the orphan, the widow, and the stranger.” over and over again. Francis Chan
summed it up wonderfully when he said, “We are not all called to adopt. But we are
called to do something.” What will your “something” for the orphan be?

Follow the Humiston family and their adoption journey: http://www.jenniferhumiston.blogspot.com/




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