Thursday, November 22, 2012

30 Days, 30 Posts: Adoption...How to Support Friends Who are Adopting

For all my readers in the US, Happy Thanksgiving!

This last week of November (can you believe that we're almost to the end?) I am going to focus on how to support adoption.  I do not believe that all families are meant to adopt, but I do think supporting adoption and those families that choose to adopt is really important.  

For a family that has chosen adoption, extended family and friends can play a huge role in how adoption is celebrated.  It starts immediately after someone announces they are adopting.  Although the roads leading to adoption (perhaps infertility, medical issues, etc.) may be filled with sadness, the announcement of an upcoming adoption is to be celebrated.  

Because I have had two pregnancies and started one adoption, I can offer this advice...
Just like when a pregnancy is announced, it is okay to gush, ooh and aah, and show excitement about the adoption.  The excitement level was a bit different when we announced we were adopting.  It's not that anyone was against us doing it, but there were a lot of questions.  Most of the time when someone announces they are pregnant people don't ask, "Well, why'd you decide to get pregnant?"  So asking, "Why are you choosing to adopt?" or "Why are you doing that way?" can feel judgmental.  Instead, a simple "congratulations" would be appropriate.

Just as I didn't want hear about all those terrible deliveries of so and so's cousin, I don't want to hear about the failed adoptions that someone posted on Facebook and what's been reported on Dateline (is that show even on anymore?!)  But, if you have some information to share about adoption-related books, agencies, blogs...I am all ears.

That 9th month of pregnancy can be reallllllly long and for me it couldn't end soon enough.  The same is true with the adoption paperwork and waiting to bring that long-awaited child home.  It's okay to ask someone about the adoption, but I love it when someone prefaces it with "Are you tired of talking about this?" or "Is it okay if I ask?" Then I am free to honestly say "yes" or "no" depending on the day.  Trust me, just like when I delivered my two girls, once this adoption is wrapped up, it will be texted, tweeted, posted, blogged and shouted from the mountain tops.  It won't be missed!

Adoptive mamas want their children to be celebrated too.  The baby showers, flowers and balloons, cards, calls, and emails mean so much.  

There might not be the same physical recovery as a delivery, but adoption requires a recovery period too.  There could be physical effects...jet lag, lack of sleep, and illness (especially after traveling overseas).  There are doctor's appointments, post-placement meetings with a social worker, adjusting to a new family member and efforts made to ensure proper bonding and attaching is taking place.  Everything takes a while, so please allow for an adjustment time.  Making a meal, running errands, watching older siblings, etc. can make a huge positive impact on the family.

Finally, one way I am encouraging another adoptive family today is to share some information about an online fundraiser for my husband's cousin, Jennifer.  If you've been following along in this series, Jennifer's family was my second "Friday's Family" and they are fundraising to bring home their son David from Africa.

As you begin shopping for Christmas, consider supporting their adoption by purchasing items from the Etsy shops below.  I personally loved the onsies in the Shotisbaby shop and the reusable snack bags (we use some all the time) in the Shotisgranny shop.

Here's a note from Jennifer:
I’m so excited to introduce you to our clan and share with you about this crazy journey God has our family on called adoption. We began dreaming of adopting when we first go married in 2004. We have three biological children Grace, 6 years, Faith, 5 years, and Titus, almost 3 years. After a complicated pregnancy and emergency c-section resulting in the birth of our son we knew it was time to adopt. Our heart for the orphan couldn't wait any longer. We hit some bumps along the way, but in April of 2012 I traveled to West Africa on a mission trip. While there I made connections with a local orphanage. In June we began paperwork to adopt from the orphanage I had visited. We can't wait to bring home our sweet little guy, David.  On November 24th David will turn two years old. We are so glad this will be his last birthday without a forever family. Grace and Faith are the best of friends and Titus can't wait to meet his brother and already has a bunk bed to prove it. We are hoping to introduce David to our family in the Spring/Summer of 2013. We are currently completing paperwork and raising funds towards that goal. 

If you’d like to know more specifics about the timeline of their adoption you can read about it on  Jennifer’s blog here. (You can link to this post.

Maybe you are wondering why I’m sharing all of this on my blog. 

I’m glad you asked!

In honor of David’s birthday the Humiston family is doing a week long online fundraiser for their adoption. If you purchase any item in the following etsy shops during November 24-30th 100% of the purchase price (minus fees & shipping) will go straight to their adoption fund.  New items will be added throughout the week.

To help simply click on the links below and purchase an item between now and November 30th. 

If you would like a card with David’s picture and “The purchase of this item helped to bring David home to his forever family.” to include with your gift simply e-mail Jennifer at and she will be happy to send you one.

Thanks for considering helping out the Humistons.

Don't miss a thing! Follow the entire 30 Days, 30 Posts: Adoption series.

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