Sports Day

Recently LBean's school had its "Sports Day" for the younger students.  All of the children were divided into their houses (read about "houses" here), which means classes were divided and each team had Year 1 (kindergarten) and Year 2 (first grade) students mixed together.  LBean is in the Anand House and purple is the house color.

Ready for Sports Day (and I love that
daddy is in the background with coffee in hand)

EBean and I also wore purple to
Sports Day to show our support.

EBean loves to visit her sister's school, so it was great that siblings and parents were invited to cheer on the kids.

LBean waiting for her turn.

Each house team rotated through several challenges on the field.  Teachers and assistants kept score and  a trophy was awarded to the house with the most points.  Anand House was in the lead for much of the day, but ended up with second place after the relay races.  As a newbie parent, no one let me in on the secret that parents and their children run the last race.  LBean chose not to run, but one of her classmates and his mom (and they live in our apartment building) took first place.

LBean with another Anand House student, he is also
in one of her after-school clubs.

LBean was so hungry after Sports Day that she ate school lunch and then went to McDonald's for a congratulatory meal.  All of us took a nap in the afternoon in the air conditioning!

Private International Schools: Harry Potter and other Differences

LBean is entering her third term of school and it’s been interesting observing the differences in her school and an American school.  (**My disclaimer is that I am comparing the elementary school of my childhood memories.  I’m sure that American elementary schools are also a bit different now too.)  I really assumed that a British school and an American school would be alike, but there are differences.  From what I’ve been told, the differences really have more to do with the fact that it is an international school and that the school is different than a traditional British school, too.

Here are some differences that I have noticed:

Summer Uniform

1. Uniforms-This is an obvious difference and I really like not having to fight LBean every morning about what she’s going to wear.
2. Buses-Even the buses are different here.  Each school uses a bus that looks like a charter bus (and so do businesses to get their employees to work).  LBean was very glad to find out that they all had seat-belts and I was glad to know that there were bus monitors on each bus.  The teachers also ride the charter buses, although before and after the students do, to get from their apartment compounds to school and back. 
3. The school year is longer.  I don’t know that they actually attend school more days than students in the US, but the school year stretches out longer.  School began at the end of August and the school year wraps up at then end of June.  LBean’s school year is divided into three terms.  The longer school breaks allow students to travel back to their home countries and for travel to other countries. 
4. We found out very quickly that all students at her school learn to read in preschool.  This is very different than the preschools we were familiar with in the States.  I think it is funny that both systems generate highly intelligent students, but both go about reading in very different ways.
5. Because it is a private school, there are extra staff that are not typically available in a public school in the US.  Each classroom has at least one full-time classroom assistant, usually a Chinese assistant who also speaks English.  There are also extra staff to help hang up decorations and students’ artwork in the hallways (hello, no more late, late nights decorating bulletin boards!), taking photos at events, etc.
6. No special education staff per se.  There are teachers who help the students who are learning English...I was going to type ESL (English as a Second Language), but for many of the students, English is actually one of three languages they speak (Mandarin, their home country’s language and English).  There is a reading & writing teacher that provides additional support to the students, but there are no speech-language pathologists, occupational therapists, or physical therapists to provide that very specific instruction.
7. The school is very open to parents being in the building.  There is a small parent lounge in the school’s common area where parents (and siblings) can come to play, drink coffee, use the Wi-Fi, and get a feel for their child’s school and classroom without intruding in the class.  I really, really like this idea. There is also a play group one morning a week where parents can bring their toddlers to run around and the mothers get a chance to talk and see their older children at school.  Parents are encouraged to volunteer in the classroom, which is no different in the States.  But it was so funny when I agreed to help with the reading groups, the moms for whom English was a second language, were very reluctant to volunteer to help (their reasoning was they felt like their English was not very good-which is not true-and so how could they help the students say it correctly).  They laughed and said that I could take care of the English & reading groups and they would help plan the parties...done deal!  
8. The school introduces public speaking and performing from the beginning.  It is such a brilliant idea and the school does a fantastic job of giving the students many opportunities to be in front of an audience, but not just for the “big” productions like a Christmas concert.  Each Monday, LBean’s school has an all-school assembly for the younger students.  The children sit on the floor in the common area and often-times a class will stand up right where they are and perform a song from music class.  This gives them a chance to perform, but not on stage and in a very low-key manner.  On Fridays there is a joint assembly with the elementary students and the middle school students.  Each week a different class is selected to perform (LBean’s class presented on toys, their topic for first term) in front of all the students.  The middle school students take turn announcing house points (more on that in a second).  After-school clubs like LBean’s ballet class, also perform at the Friday assemblies.  It’s just a great way to routinely get the students in front of others without the pressure of this “is the big production of the year.”  It also spreads out the number of parents at school at any given time.

Here LBean (in the blue) is singing a song for Chinese New Year.  

She loved singing the song because at one part it says

"shake your butt" and since we don't say 'butt' in our house, 

the scandalousness was very exciting for her.

A song from LBean's class presentation on "toys".

9.  It’s all very Harry Potter!  Because it is a British school, they have striped scarves that match their uniforms, the school is divided into “houses” (LBean is in Anand house) with house colors, and the students earn points based on behavior and performance.  Harry Potter makes even more sense now!

10.  LBean now takes the “rubbish” to the “rubbish bin,” erases her pencil marks with a “rubber” (yeah, that one makes me pause too), and gets “cross” with me sometimes.  Some times we must do things "straight away".

The glassed off portion is the parents' lounge.

The covered playground.

LBean's Bus

What's That? Wednesday: TCK

Do you know what a TCK is? (We didn’t until we got ready to move to China.)

Let me give you some clues...

Jamie and I are not TCKs (and we will never be TCKs), but our children are.

The children of our expat friends here are also TCKs.

I have at least one friend from the US, who was a TCK.

Once a TCK, always a TCK.

TCK = Third Culture Kid

Third Culture Kid is a whole new idea for us.  TCK is a term that is credited to an American sociologist, Ruth Hill Useem, “to refer to the children who accompany their parents into another society”.  

I just put a put the book Third Culture Kids: Growing Up Among Worlds, Revised Edition by the author David C. Pollock on my Amazon Wishlist.  He describes TCK as “A Third Culture Kid (TCK) is a person who has spent a significant part of  their developmental years outside the parents’ culture.  The TCK frequently builds relationships to all of the cultures, while not having full ownership in any.  Although elements from each culture may be assimilated into the TCK’s life experience, the sense of belonging is in relationship to others of similar background.”

In other words, my children are not having an American childhood at the moment.  They are not doing the same things that their American peers are doing.  School is different, food preferences, vacations and even modes of transportation are different.  But, my children are not having a Chinese childhood either.  Although we are in China, they are not being raised by Chinese parents.  So, that puts them in an unusual category and they most relate to those children that are also  Third Culture Kids.  

During our cultural training last year, we were told that our children would probably adjust well to the move to China, but that the transition back to the United States would be more difficult (also called repatriation).  Yikes!   I don’t have to start worrying about it now, but it certainly is a topic that I am very interested in.

It’s also interesting how this phenomenon of TCKs is influencing things that might seem completely unrelated, such as Girl Scouts.  This spring I started a Girl Scout troop for LBean and some of her friends.  Because we are a troop not stationed in the US, we belong to the USA Girl Scouts Overseas.  During a live webinar that I participated in last month, I found out that USA Girl Scouts Overseas was actually started as a way to serve military families (and it still does), but now the expatriate families out-number the military families.  In the webinar there were expat troop leaders from Japan, Shanghai, the Middle East, Europe and other locations.  Just another example of how the world is becoming much smaller!

 My rockin' Third Culture Kiddos:

EBean on the playground before school.

LBean running though the water hose during a picnic
with our Italian friends.

Still having fun in the water!

What's That? Wednesday: The Chinese "Chop"

If you spend any time in China you start to notice the Chinese "chop" on important papers and documents and on other less-than-important things like your receipts from the grocery store.  A Chinese "chop" is a red seal denoting that the document is official.  You can even use the word as a verb and say you need to get something "chopped".

Here is the official Wikipedia answer on "chops":

A seal, in an East Asian context, is a general name for printing stamps and impressions therefore are used in lieu of signatures in personal documents, office paperwork, contracts, art, or any item requiring acknowledgment or authorship. China, Japan, Taiwan, Korea, andVietnam currently use a mixture of seals and hand signatures, and increasingly, electronic signatures.^[1]

Chinese seals are typically made of stone, sometimes of metals, wood, bamboo, plastic, or ivory, and are typically used with red ink.  The colloquial name chop, when referring to these kinds of seals, was adapted from the Hindi word chapa and from the Malay word cap meaning stamp or rubber stamps.

I think that is really interesting that the seals are printed with red, similarly to red wax seals used in the West.  So many things are vastly different in the East and the West, yet on this they are the same.  I remember watching "Where in the World is Matt Lauer?" on the Today Show in high school when he visited the Vatican.  He said that one of the explanations for the origin of "red tape" (i.e. "She had to get through a lot of red tape to get her passport") was because of all of the red wax seals that would be affixed to red ribbon at the bottom of official documents.  So, apparently it doesn't matter where you are in the world, East or West, everyone has "red tape" to work through! 

What's That? Wednesday: 3rd Quarter Report

It’s official, we’ve been here for 3/4 of a year now and I thought I’d take a moment and reflect back on the first nine months.

1. I have not ridden on the bus again since that very first time (read my post here "Small Triumphs")!  It’s not that I don’t like the bus or the bus system, I just haven’t felt like I have had an entire morning, or day, to really conquer riding the bus.  Oh well...
2. Our fruit and vegetable purchases have grown less adventuresome.  In one post I mentioned that I tried to buy a new fruit or vegetable every time I went to the market.  We still try new fruits, in fact I bought what I thought were blackberries yesterday, but my fruit man said they were mulberries.  However, I am sending my Ayi to get our fruits & veggies most weeks, so I’m not at the market to be tempted by new things.  As for the veggies, we’re just in a rut.  
3. We are on our second driver and our second Ayi and it happened all around the same time.  There are many reasons why we chose to do this and I won’t go into a lot of detail as to why, but I would like to say that I am very happy that we did.  Both are fitting into our family and our routine here very well. Although it was a bit chaotic for a few weeks, it was a good decision.  Before we moved, Jamie and I were participating in a day-long cultural training in our home to get us ready to move overseas.  The training was excellent and we both really enjoyed it.  However, looking back, I would suggest that they also include a portion of the training on how to be an employer.  In the US I had a housekeeper that came once or twice a month and she was a friend of a friend.  Other than high school babysitters, Jamie and I have not personally employed people.  How do we know when it’s time to let someone go?  How do you fire someone properly?  How do you show kindness and compassion, but not allow yourself to be walked all over and taken advantage of?  It’s even harder when the people are working in your home and so closely with your children.  These are lessons that we hadn’t anticipated learning.
4. We have not been back to the Hope school yet.  Jamie and I were so moved by the new school his company is building for a small village north of Suzhou (read about it here "Leaving the Bubble") and we had hoped to be more involved, but the opportunity hasn’t presented itself.  Maybe when the building is finished we’ll be able to visit again.  We did get to see some of the students perform at Jamie’s Chinese New Year dinner ("Enter the Dragon").
5. Life has been running at a much slower pace.  Before we moved, a friend (who had lived abroad growing up) told me “the first 6 months don’t count.”  I think that can mean several things...give yourself a chance to adjust and don’t judge your new home entirely on first impressions...it will get easier, give yourself time to make friends...and for us, the first 6 months were all about experiencing and saying “yes” to almost every opportunity that presented itself.  For me, that meant doing lots of day trips to the pearl market, grocery shopping with friends, meeting for lunch, volunteering, seeing all of the Suzhou sights, etc.  Now that some of the newness has worn off, the pace of life has slowed down drastically.  Part of that’s because it’s cold outside, not to mention that it’s cold & flu season, and our weekends have been spent in our warm apartment, resting up from the week.  As it warms up outside, I’m sure we’ll start to do more things, but I’m enjoying this new pace of life.  
6. We brought too many kitchen things.  Just a side note...had to throw that in!
7. It is nice to not be the newbie!  By no means do I have it all figured out, but it is nice to have some of it figured out so I can now share that with the new people that arrived in Suzhou.
8. I do daydream about “moving home”.  I am enjoying life here and I haven’t had a “China day” in quite some time.  But, it is possible that at this time next year, plans will be in full swing to get our family moved back to the US in the summer or at least by Christmas.  I do think about what home projects I want to tackle, which preschool I want EBean to attend and when I need to register her, what special China “momentos” I want to make sure I bring back, and about friends I want to reconnect with.  Time will fly, I am certain of that!

What's That? Wednesday: Finances & Taxes

Happy Tax Return day!  I received an email from a college friend a few weeks ago and she had some great questions about how finances and money work while living in a foreign country. This was one of the biggest questions I had before we moved, too.  Since it’s that time of year, I thought it would make an appropriate blog post. I’m using my friend’s questions as a guide for this post.  I hope you learn something, too!

1)  Do you have debit cards tied to your US banks or did you have to open an account in China?  We actually have both.  Our US debit card with our local credit union works here.  The only problem is that every time we use it, there is a fee from our credit union, a fee from the ATM here in China and an exchange fee.  It’s not a lot, but we use Quicken to track our expenses and it very annoying to type in a series of debit fees for under a $1.00.  Because China is primarily cash based anyway, we tend to make one big withdrawal for cash instead of individual debit purchases.  We also have a debit card with China Construction bank...well, actually just Jamie.  At our bank, you cannot open a joint savings account, only a joint credit card account.  For now, we just have the one savings account and use Jamie’s card.  He needed an in-country bank account for the company to deposit reimbursements for travel, etc.

2)  Do you get paid in Yuan or USD?  We are paid in US dollars.  It is deposited into our US savings account just like it was when we were living in Illinois.  Then, we decide how to transfer/withdraw the money.  The company will pay the $35 to wire transfer money to our Chinese bank account one time a month.  The only problem is that the money remains in US dollars until Jamie (since the account is in his name only) can go into our bank in China with his passport and ask to have the US dollars changed into Chinese Yuan.  This is why it would be very helpful to have joint accounts so that I could do that during the week and not wait for a Saturday when Jamie can go in during business hours.  Most recently we have just used our savings account in the US for cash withdrawals and avoided the whole thing all together.  I could also get my own savings account in China, but I just haven’t taken the time to do it.

3)  How do you pay bills - do you have a consolidated bill for your apartment that includes utilities and you just pay one entity or do you have to pay several like we often do here?  To pay for our bills in China our Realty Agency consolidates the rent, utilities, and our telephone and internet into an itemized bill, this is then sent to Jamie’s work where we arrange payment.  For any bills that we owe in the US, we handle it through our credit union.  A very special lady at our credit union and her staff collect all of our mail.  It is sorted and any bills that they receive are scanned and emailed to us and we make a decision as to how and when it needs to be paid and the credit union cuts a check.  Most of our remaining bills and monthly expenses in the US (credit cards, retirement accounts, college funds, etc.) are set up for monthly automatic transfer anyway, so it’s the few random yearly bills (professional liability insurance, etc.) that we are emailed about.  The credit union will also write checks for us that we have requested such as charitable donations, checks for birthdays & weddings, and orders that I have placed.  The credit union will also collect any checks that are mailed to us for birthdays and holidays and deposit them for us.  At Christmas-time, some people will have things they’ve ordered in the US sent to the credit union and pick up everything there when they are back in the US.  The credit union also sends us a mail packet once a month with the bills they’ve paid, our magazine subscriptions, cards and other mail they think we might be interested in.  It’s very exciting to get the mail packet!

4)  I assume you budget - is it harder to budget in China than it was in the US?  We did budget in the US and I faithfully entered in everything into Quicken.  I could have told you my monthly McDonald’s large iced tea expenses if you wanted to know!  Things are a little more relaxed now.  Because we are paying cash for so many things (it’s the Chinese way), I don’t spend nearly as much time entering receipts into Quicken.  At the beginning of the month I do set aside the cash we need to pay our driver for gas and tolls, our Ayi’s monthly salary and EBean’s preschool tuition.  I always want to make sure I have the cash needed to pay our driver and Ayi in a timely manner because it is their livelihood and I take it very seriously.  In China it’s good to have a lot of Chinese RMB on hand, because things just seem to come up and, all of a sudden, someone needs to be paid today for something and they only accept cash or the debit card machine is not working at a store and I end up using cash anyway.  At first it was difficult, but now I know, on average, how much we spend on groceries, eating out, etc. and it has worked out fine to use cash.  I do not miss all the time at the computer entering receipts!

Home sweet Illinois home!

5)  What is going on with your house back in IL?  Does the company take it over until you return or do you rent it out?  Because our assignment is supposed to be on the shorter side (under three years), and we had only lived in our house for two years, we decided not sell it.  We are using a local rental property management company.  I had expected the house to sit unoccupied for a few months, but we were able to find renters before we had even flown out of the country.

         

Do you think my I.O.U
would be accepted?

Jamie’s company provides tax preparation and filing services for their employees living abroad.  I cannot imagine trying to work my way through all those forms and rules.  I’m very thankful that we are not responsible for that!  Not only is Jamie taxed in the US, but his income is also taxed in China.

My lovely assistant was too busy cleaning
to take a picture, so I had to improvise!

Meeting in the Middle: Hawaii

Aloha!  When talks of moving to China started in earnest, we discussed the possibility of "meeting in the middle" with family for a reunion.  We felt like the "middle" happened to be in Hawaii (sorry Alaska)!  The week before Easter my mother and Jamie's parents met our family in Honolulu for some sun, fun, sand and grandchildren.  The girls and I also happened to meet Jamie in Honolulu...again, I found myself flying with the girls alone (a 9 hour flight this time) to meet Jamie in our vacation destination.  He had spent the previous week in the US at the home office and having dinner with all of my friends (and his friends too)!

I want it publicly known that my children were amazing travelers!  I don't remember if I've mentioned this before, but for long flights I print out preschool & kindergarten theme-based activity packets from a homeschool website and put them in plastic folders for them.  They get so excited now to see what packet they are going to get next!  I never pulled out the iPad, LBean didn't use her Leapster, and they didn't watch any movies (we were on a Chinese airline).  They entertained themselves, slept, and worked on their packets.

We flew through the night and arrived early in the morning.  Jamie came the night before and we were able to meet him at our hotel room.  LBean was excited and ready to go, so after Jamie made a quick trip to the medical prompt care clinic (he was treated for strep), they headed to the beach.   EBean quickly dressed for the beach too, but like me, succumbed to the jet-lag and we napped most of the morning.

EBean napping in her swimsuit.  Thankfully no one
got a picture of me napping!

My mom and Jamie's parents arrived later that evening.  By that time, the girls and Jamie had already fallen fast asleep, so I went out with the grandparents for dinner and we all turned in early.  The next day we walked two blocks to the Honolulu Zoo.  The zoo was the perfect size for our girls and we enjoyed walking around in the shade and looking at the animals.

Renting a double stroller was the best decision of the day!

I voted for a Dippin' Dots break, the girls agreed.

DiDi and LBean.

Me and my girls!

Jamie took some really great pictures of the plants
and animals at the zoo.  The hibiscus is the
state flower of Hawaii.

I think we have another budding photographer.

There was a petting zoo too, but LBean elected to
just take the animals pictures instead.

The next day we took the Honolulu City & Pearl Harbor tour.  Our driver took us through Honolulu's Chinatown (as big as a few city blocks).  He asked if anyone in the tour group had a Chinatown in their home cities.  Jamie and I enthusiastically raised our hands!  We stopped at the Honolulu Courthouse and looked at the King Kamehameha statue and used the nice courthouse bathrooms.  LBean & EBean reported back that the courthouse had sitter potties.  LBean and I liked the two story mailbox that had a mail chute from the second floor that dropped the mail into the mailbox on the first floor.

Grandma Callie & EBean by the
King Kamehameha statue.

King Kamehameha

We drove through the Punchbowl cemetery, which is the National Memorial Cemetery of the Pacific.  The cemetery is built inside of a volcanic crater and offers a beautiful view of the valley below.  I don't remember the specifics, but I believe that our driver mentioned that there are 5 National Memorial Cemeteries outside of the continental United States, including Puerto Rico, the Punchbowl, Alaska, the Philippines (you can read about our visit here: The Philippines), and one other.

Our next stop was Pearl Harbor to visit the USS Arizona Memorial.  In grade school I was able to participate in a program called "Kid University" at Western Illinois University.  One of the "classes" I chose was all about Hawaii.  Our teacher was a really great teacher and she told us a story about how one Sunday morning in early December she and her father went out for an early morning drive and stopped high on a hill to take in the view.  As they were parked on the hill they saw the Japanese fly in for their attack on Pearl Harbor.  It still gives chills when I think about it.

That anchor is huge!

On the boat and approaching the USS Arizona Memorial.

A portion of the ship above the water.

Still leaking oil after all these years.

There were smiles there too.

Leaving the memorial.

After visiting the Arizona memorial, we spent some time touring a submarine, the USS Bowfish, which is docked near the Pearl Harbor memorial.  The girls enjoyed crawling through the submarine.  After lunch we visited the U.S.S. Missouri (Truman's home state) where the Japanese signed their surrender at the end of World War II.

This one is for Grandpa Weiser.
Our family hearts Apple products.

After a few days on Waikiki beach, we headed north to a resort on the beach.  We had arranged for each of the girls to receive a new sand bucket filled with goodies.  The next morning we walked next door to the Disney Aulani resort for a character breakfast with Mickey and a few of his pals.  Now that we've had character breakfasts at three different Disney resorts, I have to say that this was the best breakfast by far.  It was very relaxed, not over-crowded and very interactive.  "Auntie" entertained all of the diners with Hawaiian songs, taught the children how to make music with coconuts, and led a parade around the restaurant.

LBean making some music with coconuts.

GrandLarry enjoying his morning coffee.

A view of the beach at our hotel.

On Saturday morning our resort provided free lei making.  The girls chose to make bracelets and the rest of us made necklaces.

Grandma Callie pointing out the rays,
starfish and sharks in the water at our resort.

One of my Hawaiian princesses.

On Saturday night we walked next door for a Hawaiian luau.  I took the girls out in a boat.  The guy that was helping to paddle was not expecting me to say that we were visiting from China.  He said he kew a little Chinese and asked me to say something.  Under pressure, the only thing I could think of to say was "Wo ai xing baca", which means "I love Starbucks"!

LBean getting a tattoo.

A different kind of lei bracelet.

We rented a van on Sunday and took a little drive around the island.  We stopped at the Dole Plantation  before driving up to the North Shore.  Because we had the van all day, we made two trips to Target and Jamie and I had a movie date-night.

LBean reading the map for us.

EBean marking off her card in the pineapple maze.

Itty-bitty pineapples.

Riding the Pineapple Express

I think one of the highlights for me happened on the last full day we were at the resort.  We spent the morning in a more secluded lagoon near the resort and two sea turtles came into the lagoon.  The turtles might have come up on the sand if I didn't keep shrieking "look, look there are sea turtles" and scaring them away.  I'm from the midwest, so anything sea-related is very exciting for me!

We flew China Eastern air, so we were
allowed 2 checked bags per person.  It wasn't
quite as much as Christmas, but very close!

Two jet-lagged girls.

We had a wonderful trip.  Some of the reviews I had read online didn't speak very highly of Waikiki Beach and Honolulu because it is a big city, traffic is bad and it is filled with typical American shopping.  But, I've decided that it is all about perspective because that is something that Jamie and I were really looking forward too.  One Hawaiian resident told me that there are about 1.3 million people in total on all of the islands combined.  We have around 10 million in Suzhou, so Honolulu felt like driving through Peoria.  As expats it was nice to have many American stores within walking distance.  We also really enjoyed the food and we didn't have a bad meal.  When I'm back in the States I find myself craving beef, cheese, cold black ice-tea and most of all...salads.  I'm happy to say that I ate and drank all of those things.  However, I could not enjoy my iced tea from McDonald's as it was mango flavored and it has become evident that I am allergic to mango and what a strange thing to be allergic to!

Jamie and I also enjoyed running into Target to buy Easter candy, shoes & swimming suits for the girls, and presents for LBean's birthday.  We also had fun sneaking off to see the first Hunger Games movie on a Sunday night.  I have a strong suspicion that the movie will not make it to China.

Now, it's time to start thinking about where to meet the grandparents next!